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When they finally did leave Konoha, he thought things would get quieter and he would have the time and space to just figure things out. At first, it did feel that way. After some small exercises and tuning into what the crows would inform him of, he managed to navigate the forest paths for travel with the minimal of stumbling. Falling into a pace of just walking with one partner felt familiar...
Then they would come upon towns or villages. The people unnerved him, but they didn't bother him. The noise level even started to get easier to discern unlike in Konoha. But then he started to realize what they were saying instead of how loud people were. The whispered words became easier to hear the more he relied on his ears instead of his eyes to keep 'watch' of his surroundings.
"Oh wow, did you see him? Isn't he gorgeous?"
"That's the same Sasuke from before? Aaah... he's even more handsome now."
Itachi didn't think it bothered him that much at first. Then he realized it got more detailed. Descriptions he knew came after his loss of sight. From comments on his brother's hair to the supposed placid look on his face. Some even spoke of how utterly entrancing his brother looked when he took care of him. A notion that made him walk a little stiffer than before even going so far as to trip when he normally wouldn't over things he could have avoided.
It irritated him. Like a burn under the skin. Like how it felt when his lungs informed him enough was enough. It burned and itched under the surface causing his jaw to tighten and unnecessary glares to be cast in the general direction of the voices. When had he started to react that way? Why did it even bother him so much his hearing automatically honed in on the pointless prattle of the women fawning and cooing over his little brother?
It wasn't like none of those comments weren't said about himself. He just felt utterly deaf to them. The only ones that caught his attention were those meant for Sasuke. None of it really clicked till he stumbled one time when he was making his way toward the room they were occupying, his eyes narrowed as he had to grab the railing while going up the stairs.
"Are you alright, Itachi-san?" Turning his head, he placed that voice with the innkeepers daughter and let out a sigh. He couldn't turn his ire on her even if she was part of the current uprising of whispers about Sasuke.
"I'm fine... thank you." The polite gratitude was forced out in the last, even if he knew she didn't deserve the glare he knew he was boring into the floor.
"Can I help you get to your room? Since Sasuke-san is not here with you? Did he leave you behind today? That doesn't seem like him... he's so sweet looking when you walk together and he helps." Itachi could almost hear the breathy sigh or the look of adoration that might be on her face. "Did you know his face completely changes when he looks at you?"
Itachi went still. His foot had been poised to go to the next step without answering her... when the realization hit him. One hand gripped mercilessly at the railing making the wood creak as that knowledge hit hard. "I can't see him."
The girl must have realized her error in that moment as she gasped and went silent. Without looking back at her, he continued up the stairs to their room. Instead of counting steps, he ran his hand along the wall and counted the doors instead. His mind was too full of irritation that knotted up in his chest and made it a little harder to breathe. A problem he'd not had to deal with in quite a while.
I can't see him.
Throwing the door open, he took no time to slam it shut like a child having a tantrum. In like fashion, he tugged off his cloak and dropped it by the door before marching into the room toward the bed. He found his bag near his side of the bed and pulled it out. His actions felt automatic, unplanned but methodical. In the end, he'd thought he wanted to just sleep it off. Curl up and rest while Sasuke took care of errands and supplies they might need.
Instead, Itachi only made it so far as to put on a traditional sleeping kimono and sit down in a chair near the window that he purposely faced toward the door. The time that passed should have cooled him off. He should have found the ability to organize and soothe the feelings in his head... but all he could do was think about what he couldn't do. Itachi wanted to see Sasuke. Up until this point, he'd been fine with this penance. He could deal with this one loss just to be with him. So why? Why did it bother him so much?
Crossing one leg over the other, he placed an elbow on the chair so he could set his chin on his palm. The motion caused the material to slide away, gliding down his legs with a soft hiss. The other hand then tugged the tie out of his hair and he played with it over his fingers thoughtfully. The feeling of the rope like material gave him ideas... ideas he should never have about his little brother and should make him ashamed of himself. But the roiling emotions under the surface told him he couldn't and wouldn't let it go that easily... not until he did something about it.
"What would you do... otouto... if I asked you to trust me that much?" He asked the words to no one in particular, full well knowing that Sasuke would be back soon.
Then they would come upon towns or villages. The people unnerved him, but they didn't bother him. The noise level even started to get easier to discern unlike in Konoha. But then he started to realize what they were saying instead of how loud people were. The whispered words became easier to hear the more he relied on his ears instead of his eyes to keep 'watch' of his surroundings.
"Oh wow, did you see him? Isn't he gorgeous?"
"That's the same Sasuke from before? Aaah... he's even more handsome now."
Itachi didn't think it bothered him that much at first. Then he realized it got more detailed. Descriptions he knew came after his loss of sight. From comments on his brother's hair to the supposed placid look on his face. Some even spoke of how utterly entrancing his brother looked when he took care of him. A notion that made him walk a little stiffer than before even going so far as to trip when he normally wouldn't over things he could have avoided.
It irritated him. Like a burn under the skin. Like how it felt when his lungs informed him enough was enough. It burned and itched under the surface causing his jaw to tighten and unnecessary glares to be cast in the general direction of the voices. When had he started to react that way? Why did it even bother him so much his hearing automatically honed in on the pointless prattle of the women fawning and cooing over his little brother?
It wasn't like none of those comments weren't said about himself. He just felt utterly deaf to them. The only ones that caught his attention were those meant for Sasuke. None of it really clicked till he stumbled one time when he was making his way toward the room they were occupying, his eyes narrowed as he had to grab the railing while going up the stairs.
"Are you alright, Itachi-san?" Turning his head, he placed that voice with the innkeepers daughter and let out a sigh. He couldn't turn his ire on her even if she was part of the current uprising of whispers about Sasuke.
"I'm fine... thank you." The polite gratitude was forced out in the last, even if he knew she didn't deserve the glare he knew he was boring into the floor.
"Can I help you get to your room? Since Sasuke-san is not here with you? Did he leave you behind today? That doesn't seem like him... he's so sweet looking when you walk together and he helps." Itachi could almost hear the breathy sigh or the look of adoration that might be on her face. "Did you know his face completely changes when he looks at you?"
Itachi went still. His foot had been poised to go to the next step without answering her... when the realization hit him. One hand gripped mercilessly at the railing making the wood creak as that knowledge hit hard. "I can't see him."
The girl must have realized her error in that moment as she gasped and went silent. Without looking back at her, he continued up the stairs to their room. Instead of counting steps, he ran his hand along the wall and counted the doors instead. His mind was too full of irritation that knotted up in his chest and made it a little harder to breathe. A problem he'd not had to deal with in quite a while.
I can't see him.
Throwing the door open, he took no time to slam it shut like a child having a tantrum. In like fashion, he tugged off his cloak and dropped it by the door before marching into the room toward the bed. He found his bag near his side of the bed and pulled it out. His actions felt automatic, unplanned but methodical. In the end, he'd thought he wanted to just sleep it off. Curl up and rest while Sasuke took care of errands and supplies they might need.
Instead, Itachi only made it so far as to put on a traditional sleeping kimono and sit down in a chair near the window that he purposely faced toward the door. The time that passed should have cooled him off. He should have found the ability to organize and soothe the feelings in his head... but all he could do was think about what he couldn't do. Itachi wanted to see Sasuke. Up until this point, he'd been fine with this penance. He could deal with this one loss just to be with him. So why? Why did it bother him so much?
Crossing one leg over the other, he placed an elbow on the chair so he could set his chin on his palm. The motion caused the material to slide away, gliding down his legs with a soft hiss. The other hand then tugged the tie out of his hair and he played with it over his fingers thoughtfully. The feeling of the rope like material gave him ideas... ideas he should never have about his little brother and should make him ashamed of himself. But the roiling emotions under the surface told him he couldn't and wouldn't let it go that easily... not until he did something about it.
"What would you do... otouto... if I asked you to trust me that much?" He asked the words to no one in particular, full well knowing that Sasuke would be back soon.
